Destination Departure
by CherrySugarCube
Summary: Mello and Matt meet again after many years apart. They decide to go after Kira together and gradually realize that they have developed new feelings towards each other. But will they ever be able to have a normal, happy life together? MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Seeing Mello was something that Matt was really looking forward to. They hadn't seen each other for about five years. And now Mello had invited him to Japan and told him that he needed Matt's help with his own Kira investigation. Matt had agreed to help Mello – his one and only best friend since childhood. So Matt had to fly all way down from Wammy's House in England to Mello who was currently in Japan.  
After his lonely flight in the airplane Matt was standing at the airport with his back bag. He had forced his entire luggage to fit in that one bag. Mello had promised to come and pick Matt up from the airport's parking lot.  
Matt shambled to the parking lot carrying his back bag on one shoulder. He took a good look around trying to see if Mello had already arrived. There weren't many people at the parking lot, and those few ones there were, seemed to be in a bad hurry. Matt saw only one person who stood still and actually seemed to be waiting for someone. That person was standing next to his motorcycle. Matt didn't see his face since he had a helmet on. He was wearing leather pants and a good looking coat. That outfit somehow reminded Matt of Mello. That person _had _to be Mello.  
Motorcyclist turned his head towards Matt. He waved his hand to him. Matt smiled feeling relief. Yeah, that definitely was Mello. Matt walked to him. It felt strange to see Mello again after so many years apart. Last time they met they had only been children. Now both of them were grown up adults, young men.  
"Mello, it's so good to see you again!" Matt said smiling enthusiastically. "It's been like forever… I hardly even recognize you!"  
Matt wrapped his arms around Mello and hugged him tightly.  
"I recognized you", Mello replied responding to the hug by putting his own arms around Matt with a little hesitation. "I'd recognize those goggles everywhere."  
Matt smiled even more. He definitely was wearing his orange goggles. He was _always_ wearing them.  
"You've got to tell me everything, Mello! How have you been feeling?" he asked pushing Mello gently away so that he could see him better.  
"Well… Pretty fine considering the circumstances", Mello replied. "How have you been doing?"  
"Nothing special… It's been so boring in Wammy's House after you left…"  
Mello snorted like he had already guessed that.  
"But you've got to tell me everything, Mello", Matt said again. He was so excited to hear everything about Mello's doings. "I haven't heard a thing about you for years!" he said looking at Mello's face hidden under the helmet. "Where have you been all this time? What have you been doing? Tell me everything about it!"  
"I will", Mello promised patting Matt's shoulder with his hand. "I surely will, but first we need to go somewhere private. Let's go to my place."  
Mello handed another helmet to Matt. Matt had to take off his goggles so that he could wear it.  
Mello sat onto his motorcycle. "C'mon", he hustled. "Hop on, Mattie."  
"Oh, shut up, Mels", Matt murmured. He couldn't help himself smiling a little. He felt so happy to be with Mello again. It suddenly felt like they hadn't been apart at all.  
Matt sat behind Mello onto the motorcycle. He wrapped his arms around Mello so that he wouldn't fall off. He pulled himself against Mello's back. He breathed in the smell of Mello's blond hair.  
"Ready, Mattie?" Mello asked turning his head over his shoulder to see Matt.  
"Uh-huh", Matt replied holding his arms tightly around Mello. "Let's get going."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Mello stopped the motorcycle in front of a house. Matt let go of him and they both rose up off the motorcycle.  
Matt took off his helmet and put his goggles back on. He looked at the house and a simple little garden around it and asked: "So this is your place, right?"  
"Yup", Mello replied walking to the front door. "C'mon, let's go in."  
Matt ran after Mello.  
"I'd like to take a shower if you don't mind…" Mello said taking off his helmet and walking to another room from the entry.  
"No, not at all", Matt replied. "Do you mind if I smoke a cigarette? I can go outside."  
"No, you don't need to", Mello's voice said from another room. "You can do it inside. I don't mind."  
Matt took a cigarette packet out of his pocket. He selected one cigarette and put it in between his teeth.  
"I'll be right back", Matt heard Mello saying from another room. Soon after that Matt started to hear a sound of streaming water.  
While smoking cigarette Matt roamed around the house. He soon found a small living room. He sat onto the couch and took a video game console out of his back bag. He left the bag onto the floor and started to play the game.  
After couple of minutes Matt heard Mello coming out of the bathroom. Matt didn't quit playing. Mello didn't mind that. He had gotten used to Matt's hobby. He knew that Matt would listen to him even if he played at the same time.  
"How was your flight by the way?" Mello asked. He came into the living room.  
"Well… Nothing special about it… I played this game during the whole trip… so it went pretty fast", Matt replied focusing still on his video game.  
"If you want to take a shower, you're free to do say", Mello said to him.  
Matt nodded and put a pause on his game. He raised his gaze up to Mello. This was the first time Matt really saw Mello's face properly. Before this he had worn the helmet all the time.  
Matt just froze to stare at Mello's face. He looked so different and Matt immediately knew why. Mello had an awful, hideous, large scar on his face. The scar was so big that it almost covered the entire left side of his face. Mello had no shirt on so Matt could see that the scar also covered his left shoulder and the left side of his chest. Matt was terrified. That must be painful, he thought. Mello hadn't had that scar last time Matt saw him.  
Mello looked upset because of Matt's reaction. He took a towel off his head – where he had kept it to dry his hair – and put it on his shoulders to cover the scar as much as possible. It was so obvious – Matt was staring at the scar.  
Matt felt bad about this. He didn't mean to be a jerk. His reaction had been so rude. He had just stared at Mello…  
"Mello, I…" he said quietly. He still had the cigarette in his mouth.  
Mello walked through the living room barefoot. He had only his leather pants on and the towel was wrapped around his shoulders. He seemed to be going to another room again.  
"Mello, wait… We have lots of things to discuss…" Matt said timidly. "Please, come here…"  
Mello stopped. He was standing on the floor looking very lonely. He had turned his back on Matt. Matt put his game console away. Then he rose up and walked to Mello. Mello slowly turned towards Matt. Matt saw his face – and the scar – much closer now. He had to admit that the scar still looked bad and painful but he tried to act like it didn't exist. He tried not to stare at it all the time. He tried to concentrate on Mello's blue eyes.  
"Mello, please tell me what happened to you", he said.  
"It's nothing, Matt… It's nothing…" Mello muttered looking at the floor.  
"No, I want to know what has happened to you", Matt said stubbornly. "Who did this to you?"  
"No-one did this to me…" Mello replied and still kept looking at the floor. "I… it was… sort of an accident…" Mello snorted bitterly. "Well… actually _I_ caused this to myself."  
Matt stared at Mello with an incredulous expression on his face. "Why…?" he whispered.  
"I… Someone tried to kill me", Mello explained. He was still avoiding Matt's gaze. "The only way to save myself was to blow up the entire building which we were in."  
Matt blinked his eyes. His expression was extremely shocked. Mello had almost been killed and the only way he could save himself had caused this injury to him… And he surely had not hoped that Matt would react like he did when he saw Mello's face.  
"I'm sorry… I scared you, Matt…" Mello said now looking straight into Matt's eyes. "I scared you with this story of mine and with… my appearance…"  
Mello turned away again. Matt gasped and touched Mello's shoulder with his hand. It was the left shoulder. Matt felt the rough scar with his fingers. He gulped. Mello thought he had scared Matt… No, he hadn't. No, frankly Matt was only shocked because of Mello's story about that someone had tried to kill him. But at first, yes, he had also been shocked when he had seen Mello's scar for the first time.  
Mello tried to move away but Matt held him still. He turned Mello around and made him face his gaze.  
"Mello, I just… I feel so sorry for you…" he said. Mello could hear sadness and sympathy from his voice. "I… I had no idea that something like that happened to you… I'd have come to help you if I had known…"  
"Matt, I neither need nor want your pity", Mello said having some anger in his voice. "This is nothing – just nothing. Don't make such a big deal about this…"  
Matt gasped again. "I… I'm sorry, Mello… I didn't mean to." He sounded ashamed. "Please tell me, who tried to kill you – and why. What kind of stuff are you involved in? I'm worried about you, Mello."  
"Oh, Matt…" Mello sighed wearily and patted Matt's head gently with his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They sat on the couch together. Mello dried his hair with the towel while he started to tell all that stuff he had done after leaving Wammy's House. Mello told that he had been part of the Mafia organization for a long time and used the Mafia to get what he wanted – money and power and guns and stuff like that.  
"I also know how Kira kills people", Mello said eating a chocolate bar which he had taken from the fridge.  
Matt stared at Mello excitedly. "You do? Tell me – how?"  
"There's this… murder notebook", Mello explained. "You write a name into it and that person dies of a heart attack – unless you don't define a specific cause of death."  
Matt gave Mello a skeptical look.  
"I know you don't believe me", Mello said to him. "But that's the truth. Near knows about the notebook too. And about that it contains fake rules… You see – the notebook has its rules in it. Some of them are fake ones."  
Mello explained how he and the Mafia had to kidnap Soichiro Yagami's daughter Sayu so that they could make an exchange. They exchanged Sayu for the notebook which the Japanese Task Force had had back then. The exchange went well. Mello told that he and the Mafia members had met the shinigami. The shinigami had told them about the fake rules and Mello had told Near about them later.  
Soon after the exchange the members of the Japanese Task Force had attacked to the Mafia's hiding place to get back the murder notebook. The Japanese Task Force members had had another murder notebook with them. Soichiro Yagami had been carrying it. And he also had had the shinigami eyes. He had seen Mello's real name – Mihael Keehl. Soichiro Yagami had said that he would kill Mello with the notebook but Mello had not surrendered. One of the Mafia members had shot Yagami and after that been shot himself. Mello had escaped by blowing up the Mafia's hiding place.  
"And when did that all happen?" Matt asked.  
"A couple of weeks ago…" Mello replied.  
Mello hadn't had time or money to go to the hospital so… The scar had remained.  
"Oh, Mello… You've been through so much nasty stuff…" Matt said with sympathy. He looked glumly at Mello's scarred face.  
"It's nothing as long as I'm able to catch Kira", Mello said sounding determined. "Will you help me, Matt?"  
"Of course I will", Matt replied immediately. "That's why I'm here. I'd been here all along if you had taken me with you when you left Wammy's House. But you left without telling me anything back then…"  
Mello took a bite of his chocolate bar. He was avoiding Matt's gaze again.  
"Are you mad at me, Matt…?" he asked after a pretty long pause.  
Matt looked at Mello. He didn't really understand why Mello was asking about such a thing.  
"I mean… When I left Wammy's House back then… Were you mad at me?" Mello asked. He raised his gaze up to Matt.  
Their eyes met – Mello's blue ones and Matt's ones hidden behind the goggles.  
"Well… yes, I was… actually", Matt confessed. "Mad and unhappy at the same time."  
Matt looked away from Mello. Mello was still staring at Matt. He took a bite of chocolate again. Both of them were quiet for a while.  
"I… I felt so alone when you had left…" Matt said suddenly. His voice was full of sadness. "I missed you so much when you were gone…"  
Mello was looking at Matt again but Matt didn't look at him.  
"To tell you the truth, Matt…" Mello said gently. "I missed you too. I never trusted the Mafia guys and after they died… I was all alone too… I don't think I'll ever want to be that alone again."  
Matt turned his head towards Mello after hearing that. He didn't want to be alone again either. He had missed Mello so much and now after all those years they were together again. And they weren't kids anymore. They were adults and also free to do as they pleased.  
"Oh, Mels… I'm glad to have you back", Matt said warmly looking into Mello's blue eyes.  
Even though Mello looked pretty hideous and gloomy with the scar on his face he was still the same Mello Matt had known since the childhood – Matt's one and only best friend.  
"Matt…" Mello whispered not knowing what else to say. He leaned towards Matt on the couch.  
Matt was smiling happily but Mello saw that his eyes were full of tears behind the goggles.  
"My little Mattie", Mello said protectively. He was smiling too – mostly because of Matt's face. That poor kid was almost crying…  
Mello wrapped his arms around Matt who leaned against Mello shivering.  
"Are you ok, Matt?" Mello asked just for sure.  
"Yes, I'm fine…" Matt replied quietly. "…now when you're there, Mello."  
Mello smiled and petted Matt's head tenderly. Matt lifted up his goggles. He put them onto his forehead and rubbed his eyes. After that he gingerly touched Mello's blond hair which smelt so good. And it felt so silky…  
"Matt…" Mello whispered.  
"Hush", Matt breathed into Mello's ear. "Please… just hold me for a second…"  
Mello remained quiet. He held Matt as Matt had asked him to do. He petted his hair and his back.  
Matt leaned his cheek against Mello's scarred one. The scarred cheek was a completely opposite to Mello's silky hair. The cheek was so rough but surprisingly warm…  
Mello took a bite of his chocolate bar once again. The sound that the chocolate bar made when it broke interrupted the peaceful silence. Matt pulled himself away from Mello. Mello let go of Matt being a little bit unwilling to do that.  
"Feeling better already?" he asked from Matt.  
Matt didn't answer directly to the question. "I think I'll go to the shower now…" he murmured. He rose up and walked to the bathroom.  
Mello was left alone on the couch. He sighed and stood up. He took the chocolate bar with him and went into the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Matt was wearing only his jeans when he came out of the bath room. He shambled into the living room but Mello wasn't there anymore. Matt heard noise from the kitchen. He went there.  
"I thought you might be hungry…" Mello said to him putting a plate onto the table. He sat down eating a new chocolate bar.  
Matt walked to the table. There was a filling, delicious looking sandwich on the plate.  
"You made this?" he asked looking at Mello and then the sandwich.  
"Yes, 'cause I thought you might be hungry", Mello replied simply. "Aren't you then?"  
"I am", Matt said sitting down too. "But you shouldn't have to…"  
"You're my guest, Matt", Mello said laughing a little bit. "And it's not so hard to make one sandwich. I eat pretty much only chocolate but I was prepared to that you'd like to eat something else. So I made a sandwich for you."  
Matt took a bite of the sandwich. It tasted delicious – just as expected. Matt ate the sandwich pretty fast. Mello was watching him and eating the chocolate bar of his at the same time. They didn't talk anything for a while. Matt was a little bit embarrassed about that he had cried in front of Mello a moment ago. Luckily Mello didn't tease or remind him of it. Matt had just been so happy to see Mello and be with him again.  
"Mello… Why didn't you take me with you when you left Wammy's House back then?" Matt asked suddenly interrupting the silence. He had already finished his sandwich.  
Mello sighed. "So many bad things have happened to me after I left Wammy's…" he said glumly. "I didn't want you to go through the same stuff… After all – we were just kids back then."  
Matt stared at the surface of the table. He knew what Mello's point was. He didn't want to get Matt in danger.  
"Why are you asking my help now then?" he asked.  
"Well… We are both grown up now", Mello said. "We are free to do whatever we want. Things are different now. You don't _have _to help me, Matt… But I thought you might be… Well, perhaps we can now take care of ourselves better than years ago. I was only kid when I left Wammy's House. I couldn't take care of another person back then. But I'm an adult now. Now I can. Now I can take care of you, Matt."  
Matt raised his gaze up to Mello's face after hearing that. He saw Mello blushing a little bit. Maybe Mello didn't believe that he could say something like that out loud – to Matt – and that made him blush. Matt thought it was sweet. Mello looked so funny when he blushed. And it was a nice thing to say that he wanted to take care of Matt.  
"Thanks for the sandwich", Matt said smiling a little bit. He stood up.  
Mello stood up too biting his chocolate bar.  
"It's getting late… Maybe we should go to sleep…" Matt said. "Let's start with our own Kira investigation tomorrow, ok?"  
"Ok, Mattie", Mello replied. "Do you mind sleeping on the couch in the living room? I'll bring you a blanket."  
"That's fine by me", Matt said.  
Mello brought the blanket to Matt who lay down on the couch. After saying good nights to each other Mello went to his bedroom. It felt so good to see Matt again. He hoped that they would soon catch Kira together.  
We will, he said to himself. We make a perfect team.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Mello suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. He didn't know what the time was. He didn't know what – but definitely _something _– had woken hip up. It was still dark so Mello couldn't see anything. But he somehow he felt that he wasn't in his bedroom alone.  
"Mello…" a voice called him.  
Mello cringed. Maybe that voice was the reason why he had suddenly woken up.  
"Mello…" the voice called him again.  
"Matt… is it you…?" Mello lisped raising his head up from his pillow.  
"Yes, it's me", Matt's voice replied in the darkness. "Sorry for waking you up…"  
"Why are you here? Is something wrong…?" Mello asked sounding drowsy and fuzzy.  
Matt didn't reply. Mello heard his steps coming closer to his bed.  
"Oh, c'mon, Mattie…" Mello said with yawn. "What is it? Didn't you find the toilet by yourself…?"  
Mello felt the bed swaying when Matt sat onto it. Mello rose up to the sitting position.  
"What's wrong, Matt?" he asked trying to see Matt in the dark room.  
Mello only heard the bedding rustling when Matt crawled towards him on the bed.  
"Matt?"  
Mello suddenly felt Matt's warm breath on his face.  
"M- Matt…?"  
"Sorry, Mels… But I was just wondering if – "  
"Geez, Matt! Stop freaking me out like that!" Mello cried to Matt who was almost too close to him.  
"I didn't mean to…" Matt bumbled.  
"What the hell was that then?" Mello yelled. "You sneak into my room in the middle of night and invade into my bed!"  
"Ok, ok… Sorry…" Matt said having a little bit disappointment in his voice.  
"Do you even know what the time is?" Mello asked. He was gradually recovering.  
"No…" Matt murmured. "But I… I couldn't get sleep…"  
Mello snorted quietly. He was little amused. "I get it", he said."Little Mattie had a bad dream and he couldn't sleep. Come to daddy, you crybaby…"  
Mello was half kidding and also teasing Matt a little bit. But Matt wasn't mad at him. Mello knew how to be irritating but now Matt didn't care about his little mock. Matt leaned against Mello resting his head against blonde's bare shoulder. It was the left shoulder – the scarred one.  
Mello was a little bit surprised but he slowly put his arms around Matt's warm, skinny body.  
"What is it, Matt?" Mello whispered into Matt's ear. "Did you really have a bad dream?"  
"No… I just… missed you…"  
"What?" Mello shrieked. "But I've been right here all the time..."  
"Exactly", Matt said. He leaned himself even tighter against Mello. "Oh, you're so warm…"  
"What?" Mello wasn't sure if he had heard correctly. "Did you…? You were feeling cold there on the couch then…? I could bring you another blanket…"  
"No", Matt said against Mello's shoulder. "Can I sleep here with you?"  
Mello tried to see Matt but there was too little light in the room. He saw only Matt's silhouette. He petted Matt's hair absent-mindedly.  
"Well… do as you wish", he said after a pause.  
"Thanks", Matt replied sounding satisfied. He breathed against Mello's bare shoulder.  
"You're tickling me, Matt", Mello said giggling a little.  
He felt Matt's hand petting his scarred shoulder. The touch was so soft and gentle. Mello liked it. Matt moved his hand and gingerly touched Mello's scarred cheek. Mello was pretty happy about that Matt couldn't see his face in the darkness. Mello knew he blushed rambunctiously.  
Mello's heart started to beat faster when Matt's lips suddenly touched his scarred cheek. He blushed even more – if possible. He turned his head so that Matt would give a kiss on the other cheek too but the next thing Matt did was that he pushed his lips fiercely against Mello's lips. Mello blinked his eyes. He didn't know how to react.  
Matt pulled away from the kiss. He was breathing faster. "I… I'm sorry… We were supposed to sleep…" he muttered.  
Mello blinked his eyes again. But then he recovered. "Who is telling us to do so?" he asked grinning slyly. Without warning he gripped Matt's face and kissed his lips passionately.  
Matt seemed to be surprised but after few seconds he kissed dedicatedly back.  
They kissed zealously in the darkness. Matt fondled Mello's scarred face with his both hands. Mello pulled Matt tightly against his own body wanting to be as close to him as possible. Neither of them could see other but they felt each other's body heat and heard each other's breathing and enjoyed each other's touches. Mello leaned against Matt with his whole body weight. Matt lay down on his back. Mello came on top of him giving kisses all over his face. Matt wrapped his arms around Mello pulling the blonde one closer.  
Mello started to give kisses on Matt's neck. Matt found it extremely enjoyable. He smiled delightedly. Mello couldn't see his smile in the darkness but he heard his gasps of satisfaction. Mello suddenly realized how much he had actually missed Matt. He realized how much he actually cared about him. He wanted to be close to him. He wanted to have him completely. He had never felt this kind of affection towards anyone. And neither had Matt. He wanted Mello to take him.  
"Matt…" Mello breathed giving no more kisses.  
Matt moaned disappointedly. "Aw, don't stop…" he whined.  
Mello stayed on top of Matt but he still gave no kisses. He wanted to ask about something. "Are you sure you want to risk your life to catch Kira?"  
Matt wasn't sure why Mello was still asking about that. He had already agreed to help. "Yes, I am", he replied. "And now that I've come all way down here and after all – _this_… I couldn't possibly just leave." Matt sounded determined. "I couldn't be without you again", he confessed. "I want to be with you, Mello. I _need_ to be with you. I don't care if it's dangerous."  
Mello sighed against Matt's face which was really close to his own. "Oh, Matt…" he said. "Even now when we're adults we can't decide of our own lives… It's so wrong… And even though I think it's my responsibility to go after Kira… I'd still like to have a safe, normal life with you."  
Matt didn't see Mello's face well in the darkness but he tried to look into his eyes. Mello's words made him feel very happy and wanted.  
"Kira killed L and now his existence is causing that we cannot live our lives as we'd like to", Mello said having deep bitterness in his voice. "Near can be L's successor. I don't care about that anymore. But I'll continue hunting Kira on my own 'cause I want to be with you, Matt. I'll do whatever it takes to catch Kira."  
Mello petted Matt's face very tenderly. He gave him a soft kiss. "I love you, Matt", he said. "And I want you to be safe and happy."  
Matt was soon about to burst because of all this happiness that Mello's words made him feel. Knowing Mello it had been a big thing hear him saying that he didn't care if Near became L's successor. Matt was so happy. Mello only wanted to be together with him. He was ready to let Near beat him and let him become L's successor. But Mello still wanted to catch Kira – so that he could be together with Matt.  
"I'm happy as long as I can be with you", Matt said to Mello. "That's all I need – you're all I need. I'll help you to catch Kira. Let's not be apart ever again."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Mello woke up and opened his eyes. Sun was shining into his bedroom. It was nicely warm and quiet. Only sound Mello heard was a soft snoring coming under his bedcover. Mello lifted the cover up and took a look under it. He saw Matt there. He had curled up against Mello's body and snored peacefully. He was still asleep. Mello looked at his calm face. Matt was actually kind of cute when he was asleep. Mello nipped Matt's nose between his fingers. The snoring stopped. Mello smiled and petted Matt's cheek with his free hand.  
Mello recalled the events of last night into his mind. He remembered that he had kissed with Matt – several times. When they had last met they had just been friends – best friends. But Mello knew that after this they couldn't be only friends anymore. They had grown up and also their feelings towards each other had apparently changed – had grown bigger. Now they didn't only care for each other but felt strange passion towards each other. These feelings towards Matt were new and strange to Mello and he didn't want to hide them. He really was in love with him.  
He was trying to remember if something else had happened last night. They had kissed and made out – for the very first time ever. And they also had talked… Mello recalled everything what had been said. He didn't regret any of it. He had meant every word.  
After making out they had fell asleep holding each other.  
Mello felt Matt moving. He let go of Matt's nose. The redhead turned his head towards the blonde one still leaning himself against Mello's side.  
"Good morning, Mels", Matt said resting his soft cheek against Mello's bare chest.  
"Good indeed", Mello replied smiling at Matt and petting his hair. "How about we take a shower together today?" Mello grinned mischievously. "I can wash your back."  
Matt blushed lightly but grinned back. "Fine, if you do that – and also make me breakfast."  
"Ok, deal", Mello said.  
"And I want to wash and brush that gorgeous hair of yours", Matt said touching Mello's blond hair.  
Mello chuckled. He indeed had shiny, silky, blond hair but he never bothered to take care of it that much.  
"Whatever", he replied getting up from the bed. "C'mon, let's go now."  
There was no need to call Matt twice. He immediately ran behind Mello and wrapped his arms around the blond one's bare torso. He gave a kiss on his neck.  
"Let's go."  
And so they walked to the bathroom together.

After taking a shower Mello made Matt some breakfast. Matt had taken care of Mello's hair. He had washed it and dried it. After breakfast he brushed it.  
"What are you – some sort of hairdresser?" Mello asked chuckling.  
"For you I could be", Matt replied charmingly. He chuckled too. "I could do this every day. Imagine – we could live here together like this for the rest of our lives!"  
Mello smiled but the smile became wistful. Yes, they could live like this every day – and Mello wanted it just as much as Matt did. But first Kira needed to be caught. Mello couldn't let himself enjoy his life too much before that. It would have been so wrong towards the people living with the fear of Kira's judgment. Mello had the guts, the skills and all the requirements to catch Kira – plus he had a partner. So he had to act. He had to do everything to catch Kira.  
Matt continued brushing Mello's hair. He stood behind the chair which Mello was sitting on. He didn't see Mello's face but inferring of his silence Matt came to the conclusion that Mello was thinking something like this: he couldn't let himself live an ordinary life with Matt before catching Kira. They had talked about this yesterday too. Kira was the obstacle to them to live their lives as they would please. Part of Matt just wanted to leave the whole Kira investigation to someone else. He wanted to spend a normal life with Mello doing stuff like keeping a household, working in a normal job, going out for a dinner, shopping clothes for each other, going to the movies, maybe getting married and at least – in Mello and Matt's case – eating chocolate and playing video games all day long. But Matt knew that Mello wouldn't ever give up the Kira case – not before someone had caught Kira. It didn't matter who would catch him in the end but Mello obviously wanted to do all he could to solve the case. Matt admired that. He couldn't possibly leave Mello alone with this case. He couldn't possibly be that selfish. He had to do this – for the sake of all people and for the sake of himself and on top of everything for the sake of Mello.  
"I guess… we should start with the case", Matt said quitting brushing Mello's hair.  
Mello had actually liked Matt brushing his hair so he was a little bit unwilling to let Matt quit.  
"Tell me all the information you've got concerning Kira", Matt said putting the hairbrush away. He sat down to the other side of the kitchen table.  
Mello started to tell. Matt listened carefully. Mello was pretty inpatient person so he wouldn't like to explain things twice.  
Suddenly they heard noise coming from the front door. It sounded like someone came in. Mello stood up.  
"Who is it?" Matt asked.  
Mello didn't reply. He just gave Matt a sign to be quiet.  
Mello left the kitchen. Matt went after him.  
At the entry they met a tall, blond woman who had come in with her own keys. Matt was abashed. Who was this lady?  
"I'm going to take a shower so I'll remove the bugs, ok?" the woman said. She seemed to be talking to herself. She completely ignored Matt and Mello.  
After taking the bugs away the woman finally turned towards Matt and Mello.  
"Mello, how do you do?" she asked sounding sober and confident – not too friendly but not rude.  
"Fine, thanks", Mello replied calmly. He seemed to know this woman – no wonder considering that she had come in with her own keys.  
"How about you?" Mello asked speaking to the lady.  
"I'm just fine", the woman replied smiling a little. "Now that I've removed the bugs I could actually take a shower. Is it ok?"  
"Yeah, whatever", Mello replied shrugging.  
"Thank you", the woman said going to the bathroom. She acted so casually that Matt started to think that this had happened several times before.  
"Who is she?" he asked when the woman had gone and the sound of streaming water started.  
"Her name is Halle Lidner", Mello replied sounding pretty indifferent.  
"Yeah, that might be her name", Matt said. He couldn't help himself sounding a bit pissed. "But who _is _she?" he demanded.  
Mello looked at Matt straight into the eyes. His face made a grin when he understood what Matt's reaction was all about.  
"Oh, Mattie…" he said tantalizingly. "You're jealous."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Matt's face was all red. Of course he was jealous – not that he would still ever admit that out loud. He had all the reasons to be jealous. Some strange older (Matt meant older than Mello and himself but not _old_) woman had come here with her _own _keys. Did she live here – with Mello? And Mello hadn't told Matt a thing about it! Who the hell was this lady? She even used Mello's shower like she wouldn't have own bathroom in her house!  
"You didn't tell me who she is", Matt said sounding demanding. He stared at Mello with strict face.  
Mello chuckled. He was _amused_, that bastard really was fucking amused!  
"Could you please shut the fuck up?" Matt snapped turning his head away from Mello.  
"Aw, c'mon, Matt", Mello said walking to Matt and putting his hand on the redhead's shoulder.  
"Who is she?" Matt asked again having his back turned towards Mello.  
"She isn't my girlfriend if that's what you're thinking ", Mello replied calmly.  
"Why is she taking showers _here_?" Matt asked turning towards Mello. "Does she do that often?"  
Mello shrugged. "Not that often…" he replied. "Only when she has something to tell me."  
"Something… Like what?" Matt asked. "And what were those bugs she was talking about…?"  
Mello sighed. "That woman – Halle – is working for Near", he explained. "Near is telling her to keep bugs attached to her clothes. She can get rid of them only when she takes a shower."  
When she has no clothes on, Matt was thinking pouting his nose.  
"That's why she keeps visiting me and taking showers here", Mello said. "Her own apartment is full of Near's cameras and bugs. That's why she comes here. I have given her own keys so that Near would think that she is in her own apartment."  
Matt looked at Mello. He was starting to realize. It seemed like he had been jealous for nothing. But he still couldn't help but wonder if there had _ever _happened _anything_ between Mello and that woman.  
"Matt, you've got no reason to be jealous", Mello said. "I assure you."  
He was looking at Matt and he had a gentle smile on his scarred face. "But it's still pretty funny to see you being jealous, though", he said.  
"Cut it out", Matt snapped taking a step away from Mello. "You're enjoying this? Making me jealous and mocking me…"  
Mello snorted cocking his head. Mello, that damn bastard, was still smiling and looking at Matt.  
"Halle is just passing me some information from the SPK", Mello said. "Don't be mad at me, Matt – there's no reason for that."  
Matt didn't have a chance to say anything since Halle Lidner had just finished her shower. Matt was about to scream and force that woman back to the bathroom when she came out. She had nothing but a towel on! She had wrapped it around her naked body and water was still dropping off her hair. Matt was shocked. What the - ? Did this woman think that she owned the house or something? That… she was like… in her own apartment…?  
Matt looked at Mello trying to see if the outfit of that woman disturbed him. But Mello didn't seem to mind the trifle that the woman had not dressed herself properly.  
"We should have a discussion", the woman – Halle Lidner – said to Mello.  
"Yeah, let's go to the kitchen", Mello replied leading the woman and Matt to the kitchen.  
All three sat down around the kitchen table.  
"An introduction wouldn't hurt, right?" Mello said. He had taken a chocolate bar from the fridge and now was taking a bite of it.  
"My name is Halle Lidner", the woman said looking at Matt. Matt nodded his head impassively.  
"Halle, this is Matt, a friend of mine who has agreed to help with my investigation", Mello said patting Matt's shoulder.  
Matt didn't say anything like "Nice to meet you" or "Hello" to Halle Lidner. He remained silent. Instead he took his video game console out of his pocket and started to play. Somehow he was a little bit pissed because of that Mello introduced him as his friend "who had agreed to help him with his investigation". Not as his best friend or his one and only friend. Or as his boyfriend… if that was what he was to Mello. Perhaps not then… Maybe they were just friends… after all.  
"I was hoping you to get someone to help you", the woman – Lidner – said to Mello. "You shouldn't be investigating alone. And I can't help you more than I already do. I'm working for Near."  
"I know", Mello replied biting his chocolate bar. "We are going to be just fine with Matt."  
Yeah, just fine, Matt was thinking sullenly.  
"Good", Lidner said.  
She and Mello had a discussion of the latest information that Near had managed to gather. Matt was only half listening. The discussion didn't take for a long time since Halle Lidner said she had to go. Matt couldn't help himself feeling just a bit relief.  
Lidner claimed her clothes and dressed herself in the bathroom. After that she left without saying a word.  
"Are you still mad?" Mello asked when she had gone.  
Matt pretended that he was ignoring the blond one completely. He continued playing his game console.  
"Matt, I know you're listening", Mello said.  
Matt sighed. It was no use trying to fool Mello. "No, I'm not mad", he replied. "Why would I be? That woman is only helping us…"  
"Exactly", Mello said. "So don't be jealous of her."  
Matt put a pause on his game. He raised his gaze up to Mello. "I'm not being jealous!" he shouted.  
"But something is bugging you", Mello said calmly.  
"No, nothing is", Matt replied. "Geez, just let me be, will you?"  
Mello sighed. "Whatever."  
He turned around and left to another room. Matt froze to stare after him.  
"Geez…" he muttered and started to smoke a cigarette.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Mello had gone to his bedroom. Matt didn't want to talk to him right now. He wanted to spend some time alone. He was sitting on the couch in the living room and smoking a cigarette. Sometimes Mello could be so irritating… And yet Matt loved him from the bottom of his heart.  
Matt stood up and started to walk around the living room just because of frustration. He passed by a bookshelf several times. Finally he stopped walking and turned towards the bookshelf. There weren't many books – nor many other items – but Matt read the names of those few ones that were there. Any of them really didn't seem very interesting. He was supposed to be investigating the Kira case with Mello but he just wasn't in the mood right now. Mello and that woman – Halle Lidner – had pissed him off. Matt was intending to start playing with his video game console again but then something caught his eye.  
It was a picture – a picture of a young boy. Matt took the picture out of the shelf and looked at it closer. The boy in the photo had a blond hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a black shirt. Matt recognized him. It was Mello. The picture had been taken many years ago. Mello was still a kid in it. He didn't have that scar on his face and he was so young and cute looking that Matt couldn't help himself smiling a little. This was probably one of the very few photos that had ever been taken of Mello. Matt turned the picture around. The back of the picture was white and there was writing on it. Two words: _Dear Mello_.  
Matt knew that this picture had been taken in Wammy's House. And Matt also knew that Mello had that picture of himself because he wasn't intending to return to Wammy's House ever again. Matt felt wistful when he thought about Wammy's House. That place – that orphanage – had been his home as long as he could remember. It had been the one place that he had felt that he belonged in. He hadn't had many friends there – only Mello actually – but he had enjoyed himself there. From time to time Matt longed to be a small child again – without worries or duties. He longed to be back at Wammy's. Back there with Mello…  
Matt shook his head. He didn't understand why he had been touched after seeing the picture of Mello. Perhaps it had just brought some memories back to his mind. Yes, it definitely had… Matt pulled himself together. He was an adult now and he had responsibilities and duties that needed to be taken care of. He put the picture of Mello inside his breast pocket. No matter what would happen – he would always keep Mello with him.

Mello was lying on his bed. He was biting a chocolate bar and thinking. He tried to concentrate on the Kira case but Matt popped up into his mind all the time – for some stupid reason. Ok, for that reason Mello had unintentionally pissed him off. He had been just teasing Matt a little. But Matt had really got pissed… Mello sighed and took a bite of his chocolate bar again.  
Someone knocked on his door. It had to be Matt – who else then?  
"Come in", Mello called still lying on the bed looking exhausted.  
Matt came in. He seemed to be sad and contrite. He was avoiding Mello's gaze. Mello looked at him for a few seconds but then he turned his gaze up to the ceiling. He just continued lying on his back.  
Matt didn't say anything. He seemed to be a little bit uncertain. He sat onto the bed and remained silent.  
After a pretty long silence they both started to talk at the same time.  
"Look, Mello – ", Matt said while Mello said: "Matt, listen – "  
They both fell silent. Then Mello said: "You go first."  
"No, you go first, Mello."  
Mello sighed and rose up to the sitting position. "I… um… I'm sorry", he said. "I didn't mean to act like I did... But Matt, it's true that you don't have a reason to be jealous of Halle."  
"I know", Matt replied staring at the floor. "I was acting very childishly… You really seem to know how to piss me off..."  
Matt turned his gaze to Mello and smiled a little. Mello couldn't help himself responding to that smile.  
"No wonder since I know you from the childhood", he said. "But Matt, just so you know… No-one could _ever_ come between us."  
Matt smiled feeling relief and happy. He crawled to Mello on the bed and wrapped his arms around him.  
Mello gave a kiss on Matt's lips and stroke his hair gently. Matt kissed him back dedicatedly. Mello felt that strong passion and attraction towards Matt again. He always felt those feelings when Matt was close to him like this – when they kissed and touched each other. He knew that Matt probably felt something like this towards him. So Mello also knew that he didn't have to be afraid of those feelings. He didn't have to hold them back. And he didn't. He put the chocolate bar away and pushed Matt on his back on the bed. He pressed his lips against Matt's neck.  
Matt gasped and blushed. Mello lips tickled him and he got to admit that he liked it. Matt closed his eyes and his breathing became faster.  
"Matt…"  
"Don't stop", Matt said grapping Mello's face and kissing his lips. He tasted the chocolate and he smiled delightedly.  
"Matt, we shouldn't be doing this…." Mello said suddenly pushing Matt away.  
"What do you mean?" Matt asked opening his eyes. He seemed to be miffed.  
Mello bit his lip and stroked Matt's hair. He wanted this as much as Matt wanted – or who knew, perhaps even more. He wanted to have Matt – completely. Oh, he wanted to take him... But he couldn't allow himself to do that. Kira needed to be caught first. Catching Kira had become some kind of obsession to Mello.  
"Why don't you want me?" Matt asked avoiding Mello's gaze.  
"It's nothing like that, Matt…" he said. "I want you – I really do."  
"Then take me. Here I am."  
Matt faced Mello's gaze. He had some sort of defiance in his eyes hidden behind the goggles. Mello really had hard time to resist this offer and the temptation to kiss Matt again. Mello felt Matt's warm body against his own. And Matt's face was looking so _adorable_. Mello winced like he had been in pain.  
"I can't…" he said quietly. "I'm sorry, Matt… I can't… Believe me – I would _like_ to. But I just can't…"  
"Why not?" Matt asked sounding abashed.  
"We should be doing something to catch Kira", Mello replied pulling himself away from Matt. "I was just going through in my mind everything Halle told us. Catching Kira – I can't get it out of my mind... Why can't we just save all this after we catch Kira? Then no-one will stand in our way."  
Matt stood up and turned towards Mello who was still sitting on the bed.  
"You know what, Mello?" he said. "You're right. We should catch Kira first."  
Mello blinked his eyes. He was surprised. He hadn't believed that Matt would understand or agree with him on this matter.  
"I promise you, Matt", Mello said. "We can do whatever you want after Kira has been caught."  
Matt smiled at him. "Well, if you say so. At least there's something to look forward to."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Mello and Matt put their effort into their own Kira investigation. Based on all that Halle Lidner had told Mello and what they had managed to discover by themselves, they inferred that the current L – the new one, or more likely, the fake one – probably was Light Yagami, the son of Soichiro Yagami – the man who had almost killed Mello.  
Halle Lidner had visited them again after a couple of days after her last visit. This time she had told them that Near was aware of her connection to Mello. But even so, Near didn't do anything about it. In Mello's opinion this was just like Near. Near wanted him to know things about the SPK and their investigation. By letting Mello know, Near could use his acts to solve this case. But Mello didn't want to be used by Near. He didn't care if Near became L's successor. He just wanted to catch Kira – but without being used by his opponent. And competing with Near would give him more motivation, besides that catching Kira would guarantee him a free life with Matt.  
The two of them had been tailing and monitoring Misa Amane, the girl that seemed to be the second Kira. But that cute ex-model turned out to be just stupid and ridiculously vainglorious. Mello was pretty convinced she wasn't using Kira's power anymore if she once had used it. So that girl couldn't lead them to Kira unless… the present L, Light Yagami, was Kira. He appeared also to be Amane's boyfriend or something like that. Could they use Amane to get Light Yagami…?

It was now the 24th day of December. Years ago, back at Wammy's House they used to celebrate Christmas. There had been children from all over the world but since the orphanage had been in England, they had celebrated Christmas. Not everyone there had been Christians but at the very least everyone had been in a good mood and gotten presents. Especially Mello loved Christmas since he always got chocolate as present but he never got fed up with it.  
Matt longed for that good, peaceful mood. Back at Wammy's he had always gotten a new game as present but the presents weren't the only thing he liked about Christmas. Especially when he had grown older, he had started to value the atmosphere more than the presents. But however, now they didn't seem to have time for celebrating.  
Matt was playing with his video game console on the living room couch. Mello was sitting on the other side of the couch and watching TV. The evening's newscast was running on. They announced there that Halle Lidner had been chosen to be Kiyomi Takada's new female bodyguard. Kiyomi Takada was a woman who had been Kira's new spokesperson for a while now… She had appeared on TV before this, hosting several programs. Mello and Matt had been thinking that she could be connected to Kira in ways other than just receiving messages from him to the public. Near was thinking about that too since he wanted Halle Lidner to become Takada's bodyguard. He wanted to have Lidner as close to Takada as possible.  
At least she won't visit us anymore since she now has to be with Takada all the time, Matt thought. And he couldn't help himself feeling a bit happy about it.  
"Mels…" he muttered.  
"Mm…?" Mello didn't turn his gaze away from the TV.  
"I was thinking that perhaps we could go for a walk…" Matt suggested a bit timidly.  
"Later."  
Matt put his game console away. He looked at Mello who was still staring at the TV.  
"Hey, c'mon… It's Christmas", Matt said to the blonde. "We should celebrate."  
"Matt, we've got no time for that…" Mello replied dryly, still not looking at Matt.  
Matt sighed. Mello was indomitable when it came to Kira. Catching Kira was an obsession to him. Matt too wanted to catch Kira but he also wanted to spend time with Mello, just doing ordinary things… But he knew how much Mello wanted to catch Kira. And that desire left no room for anything else.  
"Well, I've got a present for you", the red-head said persistently. "And I'm going to give it to you – whether you want it or not."  
That announcement made Mello turn his head towards Matt. "A present?" he asked.  
"Yeah, since it's Christmas, y'know", Matt replied and smiled a little.  
"Whatever…" Mello said, shrugging. He wanted to get that present but he had no present for Matt… which was – of course – embarrassing…  
"Ok, wait a sec", Matt said, rushing away from the living room.  
Mello couldn't say or do anything before the red-head was already back.  
"Here", he said, handing a packet to Mello.  
Mello took the packet, hesitating a little. It was a _heart-shaped_ box, wrapped in red paper. Mello gave Matt an incredulous look. Like… _seriously_…? Matt got to be kidding him…  
But obviously he wasn't. Matt's eyes were glistening and he looked very enthusiastic.  
"Open it", he urged.  
"Aren't the presents supposed to be opened tomorrow?" Mello asked, glaring at the heart-shaped packet in his hands.  
Matt shrugged. "Whatever… Do as you like…" he said. "I just wanted to see your face."  
Mello snorted. "Well, let's open it then…" he muttered, sat down and started to tear off the paper.  
As he had opened the packet, he gasped several times, staring at the present in his hands. It was a heart-shaped box of _chocolate_! He stared at it, not knowing what to say. He hadn't bought a present for Matt… But Matt had bought this very pleasant and delightful present for him… Chocolate – just like every single Christmas at Wammy's. This brought back so many dear memories…  
"You're speechless now, aren't you, Mels?" Matt asked, grinning. He knew how much Mello loved chocolate.  
Mello blinked his eyes which had suddenly started to fill with… tears…? He stood up, grabbed Matt and hugged him very tightly.  
Matt gasped. Mello hugged him almost _too _tightly. But apparently the blonde had liked the present… even though he had seemed to be a bit suspicious of it first. Matt couldn't be happier at the moment.  
Mello gripped Matt's face and gave wet kisses all over the red-head's face. Matt liked it. It tickled him nicely…  
"I knew you'd love my present", he said, sounding pleased.  
"Of course I do", Mello replied. "But I love _you _more…"  
He gripped Matt's hair and kissed the red-head vehemently. Matt's legs went completely numb. He leaned towards Mello and the blonde held him in his embrace with his strong arms.  
Mello pulled away from the kiss but held the other one still. He didn't have a present for Matt and it was too late to get one… But he had come up with a plan. Matt couldn't resist…  
"Why don't we go for a walk?" Mello suggested.  
"What? Are you willing to go now…?" Matt asked, studying Mello's face.  
"Sure", Mello replied carelessly. "It's Christmas after all. But this is_ just_ if you're still able to walk with your own feet, Mattie."  
The blonde grinned pretty conceitedly. He knew Matt couldn't resist him… That poor boy was totally in his possession…  
"Oh, c'mon, Mels!" Matt chuckled. "It's Christmas now… Won't you carry me…?" He gave Mello that adorable puppy-eyes-look of his which Mello found so hard to reject.  
Mello snorted and stroked Matt's red hair with his hand. "Yeah, like hell I will."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It was late night as Matt and Mello walked along a dark alley, hand in hand. Matt was smoking a cigarette and Mello was eating a chocolate bar. He had left Matt's present untouched so that they could eat it together later. Matt didn't like chocolate as much as Mello did so… Mello would probably eat most of it… But it was a present for _him_ anyway…  
The two of them had been so busy with their investigation lately that to them it was hard to just celebrate and forget about everything else. In England there had been snow in December but now, here in Japan, there wasn't. Snow had always caused a part of the celebrating mood. At Wammy's House Christmas had always been a happy celebration. Everyone had been excited and gotten nice presents. But there had always been some sort of peace and harmony regardless of all the fussing. Naturally there had been fussing too since the orphanage had been full of kids.  
But now, there were just the two of them – Mello and Matt. And even though they weren't in a celebrating mood and it didn't feel like it had been Christmas at all, they were happy to spend this short moment with each other. For a moment they didn't have to worry about the investigation or anything else. They had absolutely nothing to worry about. This night was theirs – and only theirs. Nothing could steal this moment from them.  
"So, when do I get my present?" Matt asked, interrupting the peaceful silence.  
Mello turned his gaze away. Shit… He had no present for Matt… He had to make Matt concentrate on something else…  
"Mels, what's wrong?" Matt asked, trying to reach for the blonde's gaze.  
Mello shook his head.  
"Oh, c'mon, Mels, I was just kidding", Matt said, squeezing Mello's hand with his own. "All I want is to be with you. I don't need presents."  
Mello turned his gaze at Matt. "Seriously…?" he asked.  
"Of course", Matt replied, smiling at him in the dark. "But does this mean that you really _hadn't_ bought me a present?"  
Mello smirked. "I've got something much better for you", he said.  
Matt immediately got excited and Mello enjoyed watching his reaction. "What? What is it? I want to have it now – right now", the red-head demanded.  
"Well…" Mello chuckled, looking at the dark night sky above the two of them. "After this romantic walk… we could take a shower together… And then I could cook you a dinner."  
Matt giggled. "And you mean like… you'd cook me a sandwich…?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.  
Mello nudged Matt a little. "C'mon! I can cook more than just that!" he said.  
Matt laughed. "Right… we'll see about that", he said. "But this 'romantic walk' – as you put it – has been really nice… And that shower part sounds damn good…"  
"Yeah, no more investigation for tonight", Mello said. "Tonight I'm all yours."  
That sounded extremely romantic… Matt looked at the blonde's face. Mello turned his gaze back at Matt at the same time. Their eyes met. Matt grinned.  
"Sounds like fun to me…" he said mischievously. "Let's get going then. I'm starting to be hungry…"  
He gave a kiss on Mello's scarred cheek. Mello wrapped his arms around Matt's shoulders. It made the red-head feel nicely warm…

After taking a shower Matt brushed Mello's hair as usual. He enjoyed it as much as Mello enjoyed having Matt touching his hair and neck. The blonde was eating the chocolate Matt had given to him. Matt hadn't eaten any.  
"Should I wear something more appropriate as we eat the dinner that you're going to cook for me?" Matt asked, standing behind the chair that Mello was sitting on. He was only wearing a towel that was wrapped around his hips.  
Mello laughed gently. "Don't worry, Mattie", he said to the red-head. "You look good." He turned around on his chair to see Matt's face.  
Matt wasn't wearing his goggles – for once – so Mello could see his eyes properly.  
"You _do _look good…" the blonde said again and stood up, leaning towards Matt.  
Matt blushed lightly. He lifted the hairbrush up as if it had been a weapon. "I'm not finished yet", he said, trying to sound earnest.  
Mello quickly gripped his wrist and twisted it so roughly that Matt dropped the hairbrush. His blue eyes had captured Matt's gaze. Matt stared at Mello with his mouth left open. Mello gripped Matt's chin with his free hand and pulled him closer. He tucked his tongue into Matt's open mouth.  
Matt moaned, closing his eyes. He placed his free hand on Mello's naked back. The blonde was also wearing just a towel, wrapped around his hips. He shoved Matt backwards and swept him off his feet. The next thing Matt knew was that he was now sitting on the chair that Mello had been sitting on just a moment ago. Mello was sitting on his lap, tongue kissing with him. Both of them were on cloud nine. There were just the two of them. Nothing else mattered. This moment was theirs. They both wanted this moment to continue forever.  
But Mello leaned back and let go of Matt.  
Matt moaned – but this time because of the disappointment. Why on earth Mello _always_ had to interrupt when they were making out and things were just going well…?  
"What's wrong, Mello?" Matt asked.  
Mello shook his head, without facing Matt's gaze.  
"Mello, what's bothering you?" Matt demanded.  
Mello sighed. "Matt… Am I a bad person…?" he suddenly asked.  
Matt blinked his eyes. Why such a sudden question…? Matt never thought that Mello would ever ask anyone's opinion about his own behavior.  
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked carelessly. "I'm not mad at you, even though you didn't buy me a proper present – if that's what's brothering you."  
"No… That's not what I meant…" Mello muttered, still not facing Matt's gaze. "I've done so many bad things… I told myself that they were just to catch Kira but… People have _died_ because of me… I don't know if I can live with that… Or at the very least I should catch Kira to justify my actions."  
Matt tried to study the blonde's face with his eyes. Mello was still sitting on his lap. Matt suddenly felt that he needed to hug him – that Mello desperately needed a hug. He wrapped his arms around the blonde and leaned his head against the other one's bare shoulder.  
"You're not a bad person, Mello", he whispered against Mello's bare skin. "I love you. I couldn't live without you."  
Mello couldn't utter a word. His eyes started to fill with tears – yet again. Since when had he been such a crybaby? Matt was just too good for him… He didn't think he deserved to have Matt at all. But of course he wanted to have him. Oh, he wanted him more than anything. He sobbed quietly against Matt's neck. Then he pulled himself together and gave a sweet kiss on Matt's neck.  
"Merry Christmas, Matt", he whispered into the red-head's ear.  
"Merry Christmas, Mello."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The two of them completely forgot about everything else. Even Matt forgot about the promise that Mello had made. And Mello – of course – didn't mind that. He wasn't a good cook anyway so perhaps they had just managed to spare Matt from an ultimate disaster. But since Mello had promised to spend whole night with Matt and give him his full attention, he wanted to grant Matt's every wish. After all, this could be their last night together for a long time.  
They were now in Mello's bedroom, lying on the bed. Matt was lying on Mello's stomach, resting his head on the blonde's bare chest. His gaze studied Mello's face and those enchanting blue eyes, running his fingers on Mello's blond hair and scarred cheek. Mello looked so beautiful and felt so comfortable when he wrapped his strong arms protectively around Matt's body. Matt had hard time believing that this was really happening to him. They had been so busy with the Kira investigation lately… Matt had forgotten how fascinating it felt to be with Mello like this. But this was real, this indeed was really happening. This stubborn, sometimes pretty aggressive and even melancholic young man was real and really there – for him. Mello could sometimes be very frustrating and irritating and dealing with his several obsessions was exhausting. He always wanted to be the best – better than Near at the very least. Mello was impulsive and his moods changed very often – sometimes too quickly for Matt to cope. But regardless of all that he still loved Mello from the bottom of his heart. Mello had his flaws and shortcomings but he was just a human being after all and perfect man and friend for Matt.  
The redhead was still resting his head on Mello's chest that rose and went down as the blonde breathed. It felt nicely relaxing to listen to Mello's constant, regular breathing. Mello looked at Matt with his darling-blue eyes as he touched the red head's face gently with his hand. Matt leaned in and gave a soft kiss on his lips.  
"This is definitely the best Christmas I've had after I left Wammy's", Mello said, smiling and crossing his arms under his head.  
"This is the best I've_ ever_ had", Matt said, smiling back and kissing Mello again.  
"And you want to spend it like this?" Mello asked, smiling and enjoying Matt's kisses. "Isn't this a bit lame?"  
In Mello's opinion this was anything but lame. He had just been expecting that Matt would like to celebrate in a way different from this.  
"_You_ are lame, Mels", Matt said, chuckling. "You should entertain me since you hadn't even bought a present for me."  
Mello rolled his eyes and snorted, chuckling silently. "Well, what do you want me to do?" he asked. "I promised to be yours and only yours for tonight."  
Matt wanted to hear that again because it sounded so romantic… But instead of asking Mello to say it again…  
"Well… First of all you could give me a full-body massage…" Matt suggested snidely. He smirked.  
Mello laughed at him. "You pervert!" He stroked Matt's hair roughly.  
"I know you'd enjoy it anyway…" Matt said teasingly. "Don't tell me you wouldn't."  
Mello laughed again. "Don't flatter yourself", he chuckled.  
Matt snorted. "I was just kidding with it…" he said.  
Mello raised his eyebrow but decided not to comment.  
Matt rubbed his cheek against Mello's and gave kisses on his neck. "Let's just be like this… This feels good…" he muttered somnolently, closing his eyes.  
Mello smiled delightedly, stroking Matt's hair. If he had been a cat, he would have purred. He gripped Matt's shoulders and pushed him against the bedding so that he was now on top of the redhead. Then he drowned him in passionate kisses.

When Matt woke up in the following morning Mello had already left the bedroom. Matt rose up and made the bed. He usually didn't do things like that but now he wanted to please Mello. Besides, Mello had probably woken up so early today because he wanted to make Matt some breakfast…  
Matt didn't bother to put on anything particular. He was wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. They had to do. He walked to the kitchen but Mello wasn't there. There was a plate on the table. Mello had indeed made him a sandwich. But the blonde was gone. Matt took the sandwich with him and went to the living room. He stopped before entering when he heard Mello's voice talking to someone. He peeked in and saw Mello sitting on the couch. But there was no-one else there with him. He was talking on a cell phone.  
Matt knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on anyone's conversations but he stayed there and listened. Mello didn't notice him. After a long silence the blonde sighed and said: "Then I guess I'm going to have to do it."  
Then he hung up the phone and buried face in his hands. Matt looked at him, not knowing what to do. He looked at the sandwich in his hand and felt no desire to eat it. He walked to Mello and put his hand on the blonde's shoulder. Mello startled and raised his gaze at Matt's face. He opened his mouth to say something but didn't come up with anything. He turned his gaze away.  
Matt sat down next to him. He pulled Mello into a comforting hug. Mello gripped Matt tightly and buried his face in his shoulder. He didn't say anything but his behavior was enough to tell Matt that everything wasn't quite right.  
"Who were you talking to?" the redhead asked.  
"It doesn't matter", Mello replied silently.  
To Matt it did matter. But he let it be since he didn't want to argue.  
"This will all soon come to an end", Mello said gravely. "Kira will be caught and justice will prevail. I'm going to do the right thing."  
"I'll help you", Matt said to him, sounding determined. But then he hesitated. "Err… What are we going to do exactly…?"  
"Don't worry, Matt", Mello said to him. "I've got a plan."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Mello's plan was put into action after Christmas, in January. The destination of the plan was to kidnap Kiyomi Takada, Kira's spokesperson. Matt knew it was a very risky thing to do since Takada was a very well guarded person but Matt was still willing to help Mello, no matter what. He trusted him. He believed that Mello's plan could succeed. He was going to give it his best shot.  
The two of them were now preparing the things for Mello's plan to kidnap Takada. They were both pretty quiet. Neither of them was in a talkative mood at the moment. Perhaps that was because they were both a bit nervous.  
"This will bring it all to an end if we succeed, won't it, Mello?" Matt asked.  
Mello nodded.  
"This is something you've been working really hard for… Mels, you'll definitely catch Kira", Matt said encouragingly. "You'll beat Near."  
Mello sighed. "This is not about beating Near anymore…" he said. "Haven't I told you, Matt? I just want to catch Kira to make the world peaceful again and to live a normal, happy life with you. To keep you safe, got it?"  
"Yeah… I got it…" Matt looked at Mello and he had a strange feeling. To keep him safe… and not to beat Near… Mello had changed so much during these years – and even the months – they had been together… He had sort of grown up, mentally. He didn't want to be the winner anymore but he wanted to do the right thing to help everyone else. It was a noble way of thinking. The old Mello didn't think like that. He had changed a lot but Matt still loved him very much. His love towards Mello grew stronger every day.  
"Mello… Whatever happens from now on…" Matt began. "I…"  
"I love you too, Matt", Mello interrupted him. The blonde smiled at Matt wistfully. He gripped Matt's shoulders and pulled the redhead into a protective hug. "Matt, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me", he whispered, running his fingers gently through Matt's hair. "I love you, more than anything. Make sure you'll never forget that."  
"I won't", Matt managed to reply, even though he was almost speechless after hearing the most loving words he had ever heard and even though he felt like he had been melting in Mello's arms. Fortunately Mello held him and kept him standing on his feet.  
Mello gave a sweet kiss on Matt's forehead. He was glad to say those things to Matt when he now had a change to do so. Matt was the most important thing in his life – had been all along and it had taken a while from Mello to understand that. Not the victory. Not beating Near. But keeping Matt safe and happy. That was just enough to be a substantial reason to catch Kira.

It was Matt's task to drive to the NHN building to Kiyomi Takada and her bodyguards and fire a smoke bomb to create some confusion so that Mello could drive there with his motorcycle and kidnap Takada. Matt carried out his part of the plan. Because of the smoke he didn't see Mello coming but he believed that the plan had succeeded so far. It was _Mello's_ plan after all.  
Matt had no time to waste. Mello had given him strict orders to follow. After firing a smoke bomb he was supposed to drive away and meet Mello later. Matt followed the orders he had gotten from Mello, even though he was worried about Mello and that had his friend succeeded in kidnapping Takada.  
Matt drove away from the NHN building as fast as he could but however, Takada's men managed to get ahead of him with their cars. He was soon surrounded by them. He stopped the car and considered his options. He could use a smoke bomb again or he could just surrender... If he used the former option, would he get manage to escape? He doubted that. How about surrendering then…? That would probably cause more troubles to Mello who had kidnapped Takada. Takada's men would use Matt to catch Mello and to find Takada…  
But what other options did he have? None. There was nothing he could do. He had messed up and gotten caught. But perhaps he could delay Takada's men so that they wouldn't go after Mello…  
"Get out of the car, hands held up!" someone shouted at him.  
Matt took a deep draught from his cigarette and stepped out, hands lifted up. He had no idea what to do. So he improvised.  
"Everyone, listen to me carefully", he said slowly, keeping his hands above his head so that Takada's men could see them. "I'm connected to Takada's kidnapper so don't do anything reckless…" he said. "You've probably got a lot to ask me. So you won't sho – "  
But he was wrong. Takada's men didn't hesitate to shoot a man who had involved in Takada's kidnapping. They opened fire.  
Matt didn't have a change to act. Everything happened too fast. His body took several hits of the bullets. It didn't even hurt. He lost his consciousness before feeling the pain. His head felt awfully fuzzy but before losing his consciousness he felt his body hitting the engine cowl of his car and then the asphalt when he fell.

Next time he woke up he felt someone carrying him. He could barely breathe. Too much pain… His clothes felt wet and sticky. Was it because of the blood…? Was he bleeding badly…? He had to be. He remembered getting shot. He had dropped his cigarette but it didn't matter since he couldn't even breathe properly. His tongue was completely numb and dry but he opened his mouth to speak.  
"Who…?" he managed to ask.  
"Shh", the voice said into his ear.  
"M- Mello…?" Matt managed to open his eyes and saw Mello who had covered his face with a helmet.  
"Yes, it's me", Mello replied. "But don't talk. You're badly injured. I'll take you to the hospital."  
"But… how…? Mello… Where's Takada…?" Matt mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open and focus his gaze on Mello's face.  
"I took her to a secret place", Mello explained. "Don't worry. No-one will find her without my help. That's what I told Takada's men and so I managed to take you with me. But we don't have much time…"  
"Mello…" Matt breathed. "You shouldn't have done that… Now they know who's behind this…"  
"They didn't see my face", Mello replied. "And I couldn't just leave you there." His voice suddenly sounded very fragile and sincere. "Hang on, Matt", he said. "You'll get better."  
"Mello… It hurts like hell… I won't get better… I think I'll die…"  
Mello winced almost like he had felt the pain that Matt was going through. "No, Matt", he said, sounding a bit angry. "Don't say things like that. You won't die! I'll take you to the nearest hospital and – "  
Matt shook his head wearily. "No, the cops and Takada's men will catch you if you do that", he said. "Everyone is after us..." He couched and tasted blood in his mouth. "Mello, listen to me", he said. "I'm sorry… I totally screwed up… Just leave me and go. Otherwise this was all for nothing."  
"No! I won't leave you!" Mello cried. He knelt down and put Matt on the ground. He held Matt's hands and they felt awfully cold. Mello was sick of worry.  
Matt winced in pain and bit his lip, trying to keep his eyes open so that he could look at Mello, his dearly beloved Mello…  
"Take your helmet off…" he said.  
Mello did what Matt told him. Now Matt saw Mello's worried, scarred face. After seeing that he knew his wounds were fatal. He wouldn't make it.  
Mello wrapped his arms around Matt's body. "I'm so sorry… Matt… I'm sorry…" he breathed. "This wasn't supposed to go like this…"  
Matt shook his head again. "This isn't your fault. I screwed up…" He tried to take a deep breath but it hurt too much. "Mello… I feel so cold…" he said silently with his weakened voice.  
Mello bit his lip. He felt warm tears running down on his cheeks. "Matt, let me help you… Let me take you to the hospital…"  
"No… It's too late…" Matt muttered silently. He tried to focus his gaze on Mello's face but his eyes had become very blurry. "Just leave already… You need to catch Kira…"  
"No!" Mello argued. "Shit! Matt! You… You can't… Matt, don't die on me, you fool!" He gasped distressingly. "Matt… you need to stay with me… Please, don't die… Stay with me…"  
The tears on Mello's cheeks made Matt feel terribly sad. Mello's blue eyes showed extreme distress. But Matt couldn't say anything.  
"Matt…" Mello moaned silently. His voice was about to break. "I _need _you… We weren't supposed to be apart ever again…"  
"We won't be…" Matt whispered. He smiled, ignoring the pain.  
But Mello was totally comfortless. He hugged Matt tightly, burying his face in the redhead's shoulder. Would it all end like this…? Would this really be the end…?  
Matt's eyes closed behind the goggles. Mello heard his breathing gradually getting weaker and weaker. Finally it stopped completely, along with his heartbeat.

And so Matt was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**- The Final Manifestation -**

Mello held the dead body tightly in his embrace. His body trembled. He kept his eyes closed, trying to take a deep breath. But nothing helped. He couldn't fall asleep or wake up from this horrible nightmare. He had lost Matt… forever.  
Tears fell down on his cheeks, moistening Matt's red hair. Mello cradled the dead body in his arms. He couldn't believe that Matt was gone for real. Someone could say that there was a giant, empty hole in Mello's heart. Matt had left it there. And it couldn't be filled up ever again.

"_Matt, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." _  
Mello had now lost him, the most important thing in his life._  
"I promise you, Matt. We can do whatever you want after Kira has been caught."  
_He had failed. He could never fulfill that promise. _  
"I love you, Matt. And I want you to be safe and happy."  
_He had failed to ensure Matt's safety. And that failure has cost Matt's life. _  
"I don't think I'll ever want to be that alone again."  
_And yet still… there he was…  
…all alone again.  
His worst nightmare had become a reality.  
Matt was dead.

The tears just didn't stop coming. Mello gasped, breathing in the fading scent of Matt's hair. He pulled Matt against himself even tighter as if that had helped anything. But Matt was already dead. The thing Mello held was only his friend's dead body. It would soon become completely cold… The thought of that made him hold Matt's body even tighter.  
Then he suddenly heard something rustling. He started to fumble Matt's clothes in order to find the source of the rustling. He soon discovered that it had been caused by a piece of paper that Matt had had in his chest pocket. Mello took the paper out.  
It wasn't just any piece of paper. It was a photograph – of him, of Mello. Mello hadn't known that Matt had kept a picture of him in his chest pocket. Mello looked at it with his tearful, blurry eyes. He was just a young kid in the photo. It had been taken at Wammy's House many years ago. Mello had retrieved this photo from Near when he had told him about the fake rules of the Death Note. Now the picture had red blood stains on it, almost like they had been there to remind Mello of Matt's sudden death.  
His best friend, his _only _friend – the young man he had loved more than _anything_ – had died because of him.  
Mello turned the blood stained picture of himself around with his tremulous hands. He looked at the white backside of the picture. There were those two words written on it…

_Dear Mello._

His eyes filled with tears again.


End file.
